For Traci

1.17.2005

It's been a long hard road for you, but it's time for you to lay at peace,

Where the screams of life are muted and your complications will cease.

At some point, we had all witnessed your day to day struggle.

Everyday life became difficult but your perseverance was never subtle.

As the role of one left behind

I cannot help but think back and rewind…

Where could I have found more time?

Were there other spare moments that I could find?

There are so many questions it almost becomes too much to grasp.

I begin to look upwards, then at the bible; only to ask…

What have I done to deserve this outcome?!

For my spirit is weary and my despair weighs a ton.

Did you deserve this early exit into the light,

After you put up such a long, cumbersome fight?
Your passing has helped restore my faith and I am filled with a truth.

A comfort envelopes me and my questions are soothed.

You have been chosen and the passing of your soul

Calls for the rest of us to move on and play a required role.

There is a plan in place and your passing was required.

Any anger for God or questions of why must now be retired.

I have come to accept you have gone on to a better place,

even though amongst a crowd I can still see your face.

And I have to come to understand that I must let you go,

No matter what my emotions say and when my heart tells me 'no'.

I wish you peace in your place of rest and know I will always care.

Even if your loss is impossible for my presence to bare.

Anything I must do to see you again, consider it done – this I swear.

And when I feel that warm breeze at my back, I'll know you were there.

Your Loving Brother,

Ryan